Aoba's Social Life
by Sugary-B
Summary: Aoba's casual tweet about his hunger leads to Noiz inviting himself over again, Koujaku sussing out that something's wrong and Clear's new interest in blue jelly pudding.


_**AN** I thought I wouldn't finish this for ages yet but I'm on a roll with all these dmmd fics, the ideas for them just keep coming to me (I just posted one the other day and here I am with my second dmmd fic already). I've tried my best to keep this one short(er) this time because although I love reading long chapters I know not everyone feels the same. Plus my fingers!... ;o; I don't think this is written as well as the other one but I guess that's a little expected because I always say that the way you write and what you write usually affect each other (and my writing mood is on/off...Orz)_

_Okay, anyway~yo__u can take this as a reenactment or 'double take' on what happened when Aoba came back to Noiz sitting in his room like it was the most normal thing ever ("Honey, I'm home~") And then enter Clear through the veranda and then Koujaku (depending on the choice you pick). And before we know it, hell is breaking loose and fun times are being had! :D_

_Enjoy!~_

* * *

_**yo_Aoba** I'm hungry but there's no food!... :'(_

That's where this all starts, from the hunger and emptiness of Aoba's stomach. Not like it can be helped though when it came down to a last minute call to come in to work on his day off. A generous order had been placed that would give Heibon more legs to stand on financially and Haga-san had asked for Aoba to deal with the information like he usually did, with incredible social and people skills that always encouraged customers to leave complimentary reviews on the online website. Aoba was happy to help of course, but because it was unexpected he missed lunch. And unfortunately, unlike the expectation he had of coming home to his grandmother moving about in the kitchen with plates of hot food to serve, she wasn't around so dinner wasn't even ready, let alone teasing him from the table with its delicious smell.

According to her handwriting left on a small note stuck to the fridge, she's out seeing a patient who needed immediate attention and he shouldn't worry.

No lunch and now no dinner. But hell if he'll try to cook again. Been there, done that-wait, no he burnt that. Man, for someone who's hair exposes him to be compared to the opposite gender, he certainly doesn't belong anywhere near a kitchen. His shoulders start jolting as he remembers his last attempt to make something to eat. It had started off simple but then...somehow...escalated badly.

Granny was _not_ happy.

_"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" She had questioned, angry and in fully hysterics as the kitchen she returned to that was once neat and in order was now dusted with charcoal from its bare survival of a furious fire and covered in smudges and splats of different ingredients. __"MY GOODNESS, JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS! YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A STROKE FROM ALL THIS?!"_

_Aoba was stood in the center of the kitchen with guilt on his face, smudges and splatter on his apron and flour dusting his face that was once clear when he tied up his hair to cook. __"B-B-But...But Granny, it was an accident!"_

_"The only accident here is you!"_

_"I-I'm sorry! I promise to clean it all up, okay?"_

_"Don't waste your time! Knowing you, you'll only find a way to mess that up as well!"_

_"No way, I promise!"_

_It was the last straw when Aoba tried to mop but happened to knock over the bucket and spill out all the water...four times._

Aoba sighs and looks at his tweet. Aside from being hungry, he was bored and thought why not revisit the twitter account he had made a long time ago but hadn't really had time for until recently? He keeps his profile simple with a picture of him laying down with Ren in his arms for his header, and a picture of him stuffing his face with his grandmother's donuts as his profile picture. His bio is short and it says '_Yo, I'm Aoba! 23 and I work at Heibon_'. His bio was longer once with an added '_drop a mention if you wanna chat_' but somehow that had gotten the message across for strange perverts to send him weird and highly inappropriate requests like 'send me a topless' and by the odd chances a blunt 'let's fuck'.

He blocked them all.

Aoba refreshes the page for something new and the notification tab flashes red as an indication. He goes in to it and at the top of the page is a two-word reply to the status he made.

**_makesomeNOIZ:_ **_Order pizza_

_'...Is this kid for real?'_ Aoba can't help but wonder as he types back a reply. But then again, it doesn't seem too weird because after all, _it is Noiz_. But not everyone is a pizza-loving maniac like him.

_**yo_Aoba:** I'm not in the mood for that._

_**makesomeNOIZ:** I'll eat it then._

_'Seriously?! Again, is this kid for real?!'_ Aoba questions in disbelief, typing back to him again.

_**yo_Aoba:** no way! if you want pizza then go ahead and order it yourself!_

Noiz never did make any sense. Why would Aoba order a pizza that's not for him? And besides, it's not as if Noiz is actually here to eat it himself anyway. Ugh, and all this talk of food! If Aoba doesn't eat anything soon then he'll be in trouble! He leaves his room to go downstairs and have a look around in the kitchen, hoping that while he may not be able to cook there'll at least be a bag of chips or a store-bought sandwich perhaps. Being incapable of unlocking any culinary skills doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to starve.

It turns out that's _exactly_ what it means, because other than vegetables and other ingredients that need to be prepared before they're cooked and enjoyed to their fullest, there are no chips or ready-made sandwiches. Not even an ounce of chocolate or his grandmother's famous donuts are around either. Guess that's it then, unfortunately. And with a heavy sigh and his head hanging lower than usual, Aoba retreats back to his room. He'll just have to be patient and wait for his grandmother to come back and in the mean time not think about it too much-Although that's nearly impossible when his stomach might as well be having a drill parade!

When Aoba comes in to his room again, he doesn't expect to walk in to a scene of a situation he was in once before, where Noiz is comfortably set up in the middle of his room on the floor and surrounded by different keyboards and computer screens shinning from his coil. Beside him is a large pizza box as well that he's helping himself too, yanking at the slices with dripping, greasy hot cheese.

"O-Oi, what are you doing here?! How did you even get in?!"

"Door was open."

"...No it wasn't!"

But yes it was, because earlier when Aoba had came back home to pick up the bag he had forgotten, he was so concerned about being late going back to work that the jiggling keys in the palm of his hand were long forgotten about. He nearly tripped over the step where the shoes were kept as well. But as if Aoba is going to admit all of this to Noiz and have him look at him like an idiot! Noiz obviously doesn't believe him anyway and finds it funny that Aoba think's there's a point in lying if this is the case, and not to mention Granny's going to have words with him again when she returns later on.

"Why are you here, Noiz?"

Noiz shrugs.

_'Well that's helpful!...'_

"By the way, I used your wallet to pay."

"Huh? Pay for wha-wait, you took my wallet?! Hey, now look here, you can't just take people's things without asking!"

Noiz shrugs again and says, "You weren't around to ask."

Aoba would've rejected him even if he _was_ around. "Wait, but...aren't you from a wealthy family? Why do you need to borrow money from me?" It's not like his income from working at the junk shop will ever come close to the amount of paper notes Noiz and his family throw in to whatever investment or luxury they want to, because they can. Aoba can barely afford to buy these nice crepes from one of the market stalls...

"I don't carry a lot of money around with me." Noiz says as he grabs another slice of pizza, eats it and continues to tap away at his keyboard, working on stuff the owner of the room wouldn't be able to identify as anything other that gibberish. His answer seems sensible enough, surprisingly for someone who likes to get in to fights every now and then.

"Fine. How much do you owe me?"

"About twenty-six dollars."

"Eh?...No way! You paid that much for _pizza_?!" Aoba gasps, shocked by the unexpected big number. Alright, he's taking back what he said about Noiz being sensible. It's far from sensible! The _sense_ in that word would be to not buy a pizza for so much, especially with someone else's money! Noiz's tendency to neglect common sense and logic, or just blatantly ignore them, irritates Aoba to unbearable lengths. "I can't believe you, Noiz!"

Noiz clicks his tongue at the scolding. "I'll pay you back."

"It's not just that! Firstly, you took something that wasn't yours and second you did it without asking! There are boundaries and rules you have to respect, you can't just do things as you please y'know! And then-third, you wasted a lot of money on something you didn't really need! Even if you were hungry, there's food and other stuff around that you can buy for a lot less!"

"Hm, I see."

"See what? Are you listening to me?!"

"Are you usually like this when you're hungry?"

"Like what?"

"A nagging housewife."

They both go quiet, Noiz waiting for an answer while staring intently at Aoba, who in turn gets his resolve to not lose face defeated by the blush rising on his cheeks at the thought of being someone's _wife_. It's awkward imagining him in the kitchen of a shared home, wearing an apron and waiting for his 'husband' to return so that he can greet him with a kiss. It's such an embarrassing picture, he literally shakes his head to make it disappear."H-hey, that's not true! I-I'm just saying that you don't have to...b-because...argh, it's not like that!"

"Aoba Sera_naggy_."

"I'm ignoring you now!" Aoba turns his head away from the annoying, intruder brat and sits on his bed and checks his coil for any new updates. He has another notification and twitter and opens it to see another response to his status about being hungry but from Clear this time, his loyal but eccentric acquaintance.

_**CLEARasjelly: **Aoba-san! :D_

_**yo_Aoba:** hey, what's up?_

_**CLEARasjelly:** nothing in particular, I just wanted to hear Aoba-san's voice! ^-^_

_**yo_Aoba: **Oh...like this? How's that gonna work?..._

_**CLEARasjelly:** What do you mean? :o_

_**yo_Aoba:** you said you want to hear my voice but we're messaging each other. So isn't it better if we talk over the phone or in person?_

_**CLEARasjelly:** is Aoba-san inviting me over to his house?! :D_

_**yo_Aoba: **...huh? well...that's not what I was saying..._

_**CLEARasjelly: **Wow, okay roger that! I'll be coming over then ^-^_

_'...Eh?' _Aoba was having trouble keeping up at the moment. How are things escalating so quickly like this?

_**CLEARasjelly:** but first I have to buy something for Aoba-san to eat!_

_**CLEARasjelly:** is jelly pudding okay? or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?_

_**CLEARasjelly:** not to worry, I'll keep it to myself and let Aoba-san be SURPRISED! :D_

_**CLEARasjelly:** see you soon!~ ;3_

Now Aoba's really lost. The conversation he was the cause of had been taken from his control and although it became one-sided in the end, he somehow gave the impression that he was inviting Clear over!

Noiz hears a sigh and glances over. "What?

"Clear just told me that he wants to hear my voice and I told him that saying that doesn't make any sense unless we're actually talking in person or over the phone," Aoba explains, sighing again. "So now he's on his way here because he misunderstood what I-w-wait, ignore that! I'm still not speaking to you!"

"You just did." Noiz scoffs gently, amused that it took that long for Aoba to realise he had forgotten about ignoring him.

"Well excuse me but now I'm taking it back!"

"Are you really older than me?..." Noiz asks, grinning smugly.

"Of course! I'm not a money-stealing brat like you!" Aoba snaps, blushing again but this time out of anger. He's never really liked kids since all the ones that he gets involved with tend to be brats. "And at the very least you could've offered me some pizza, stingy brat!..."

"Earlier you said you weren't in the mood for pizza."

Oh that's right, when Noiz had replied to the whiny status suggesting that pizza be ordered. And then Aoba declined the ides because he wasn't in the mood for it. The memory sends him in to a bit of panic because looking stupid in front of Noiz is what he wanted to avoid! "B-B-Be quiet, I can change my mind! J-Just understand that what you did was very wrong and next time ask if you want something! And if the person's not there then wait! That's the right thing to do and it shows that _even you_ have manners!"

"Whatever."

Aoba's sure he'll pop a vein if he carries on trying to educate this guy. Luckily, after he refreshes the page of his twitter profile, the notification tab lights up again and this time it's from Koujaku. Normally, he wouldn't be on anything like twitter because according to him it's for youngsters (he did actually use that word when asked). It took one negative comment about his age from Noiz (his exact words were "_he's too oldskool for it"_) to change all that and he spent about two weeks learning how to use twitter, even though he knew he didn't have much to tweet about. Still, he liked to focus on the benefits of using twitter like talking to Aoba and Mizuki.

_**Koujaku: **hey are you busy right now?_

_**yo_Aoba:** not really, why?_

_**Koujaku: **Good :) a customer gave me some tea as a gift and I thought I'd come round and drink it with you._

_**yo_Aoba: **Sure, that's cool. Thanks._

_But wait...Wasn't there still the issue of the uninvited guest?_

Aoba glances over his shoulder at Noiz and then he remembers the last time he and Koujaku were in a room together. Magazines got knocked over and they were fighting so much his grandmother had to come upstairs and literally smack sense in to them. She's not here this time around though and they'll never listen to Aoba once they get started.

**yo_Aoba: **_sorry but today's no good._

**Koujaku: **W_hy not? has something happened?_

_**yo_Aoba: **No, it's just..._

_**Koujaku:** ?_

_"Crap, what should I say?! What **can** I say?!"_ Aoba thinks, worried over the fact that he's never been able to lie to Koujaku. A perk of being friends with someone for a really long time is that you get so used to the things they say and do that you'll know when they're not themselves.

_**yo_Aoba: **Ren needs to be looked at! I think he caught a bug or something!_

It doesn't sit too well with Aoba using his loyal allmate as a scapegoat. But Ren remains peaceful in his small, fluffy sleeping form, never twitching out of place or looking up from his curled up position at the end of the bed.

**Koujaku: **not to worry then, another time ^^

"Ahh..." Aoba sighs in relief, a hand on his chest as his heart rate steadies itself. The smallest things concerned him, it's true. But if he said anything that sounded suspicious or like a lie then Koujaku would only rush over and he wouldn't leave until he'd turned the house upside down and made sure that nothing was wrong.

"Lying to your boyfriend huh?"

Aoba jumps back, nearly falling off the bed after feeling warm air against his cheek. What was Noiz even doing standing right behind him and peeking at his conversation with Koujaku?! This creep-! "He's not my boyfriend! I'm not even gay!"

Noiz's lips turn up in to another smug smile. "Heh-"

"Shut up, don't laugh!...What are you still doing here anyway?!"

"Same as you."

"I live here!"

"I know."

"...?" Is that it? Aoba stares at him in disbelief as he moves away to sit on the floor again and go back to his many screens, the gibberish scrolling passed in tiny form. Noiz's logic is unbelievable. "That doesn't make any sense! Seriously, are you gonna get out of here?"

Noiz just keeps typing away on his keyboard.

"Hello?..."

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap._

"Noiz!"

Noiz hits the chunky enter key, tapping one last time, before he turns his head to look at the exhausted owner of the room, who's startled by the sudden attention. Neither of them say anything but when Aoba's coil beeps as he gets another message, Noiz has that smirk on his face again like a child about to get away with something bad.

'Now he's gone and done it...' Aoba stares dreadfully at the new conversation he's been pulled in to, helpless to prevent what he knows is coming next.

_**makesome_NOIZ: Koujaku **I'm in** yo_Aoba**'s room :P_

"You didn't." Aoba begs.

Noiz turns back around and shrugs, and it's obvious he's still grinning. "Guess my fingers slipped."

_'fingers slipped, my ass!'_

**Koujaku: **What are you doing there?

**makesome_NOIZ:** heh

**Koujaku:** Answer me!

**makesome_NOIZ:** :P

**Koujaku:** get the fuck out of there now.

**makesome_NOIZ:** why don't you come over and make me, old geezer?

**Koujaku:** You'll regret that, fucking brat.

_'No no no no!'_ Aoba mentally panics, feeling like a spectator to a film that was taking a very dangerous turn. And he can't even do anything about it-oh god, what's this? Great, fantastic.

**Koujaku: yo_Aoba** Sorry but I'm coming over! I knew something was wrong but don't worry, I'll deal with that inconsiderate brat!

**yo_Aoba:** no, it's fine! you don't need to come over!

**Koujaku:** Aoba, I said I'm coming.

Aoba's more or less going to be ignored by him from here on so there's no point in begging him anymore. "Oi, Noiz, look at what you've done! Why do you have to stir things and cause trouble when you know how Koujaku will react?!" He questions in a scolding tone.

"Because it's funny."

"It's really not! I don't want him getting stressed for nothing!"

"I'm bored." Noiz says all of a sudden.

"So go home then!"

"Let's play rhyme again."

"No! You're not even listening to me are you?!"

"Come on, I want to know how you beat me before."

"We've had this conversation before..." Aoba says, feeling more exhausted as he squints at the memory of their re-match, which he had won again. Noiz is just a sore loser in denial and too in to playing that game all the time.

"Let's start." Noiz says, eagerly standing.

"Are you deaf? I said I don't want to!" Aoba starts to back up as Noiz comes closer, much closer, so close that all the space left on the bed dissipates like they were on a small raft this whole time. Mumbling something about compensation and being entertained in another way, Noiz grabs hold of his hand during his attempt to escape and leans forward to kiss him, holding the side of his face and adding force to the action. "Mph-N-Noiz!" Aoba tries to protest in between the kisses and rough tugs. He hits and pushes against Noiz's chest. "O-oi...ngh...ha-s-stop it, you mph-brat!"

Noiz groans and reluctantly pulls away. "Tsk, annoying."

"H-How do you think I feel?!" Aoba shouts, blushing but still glaring as well. "You can't just go around kissing people!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not right! P-Plus I'm a man."

"...And?"

_'Seriously, does this kid really need any more reasons?!'_ "And like I already said, I'm not gay." He says sternly. And there it is again, that skeptical smug of mockery. "And stop laughing every time I say that!"

"Aoba-san!" White hair on a gas mask covered face appear at the window of the veranda. Clear waves with one hand while in his other is a white plate of something that jiggles around with his small movement. "I came, and I brought you something to eat!"

Noiz glances at Clear and then looks back at Aoba with a determined stare. "I don't care if someone watches us doing it."

"Watches us do what?!" Aoba questions after a double take. "We're not doing anything!"

"If it bothers you then tell him to go."

"_You're_ the one bothering me!" Aoba corrects him as he goes over to the veranda and lets Clear in, who literally jumps and dives through and stumbles a bit when he lands but still manages to keep hold of the plate. The thing on top, whatever it is, doesn't topple over either.

"Here, for you, Aoba-san. Eat it well." Clear says as he hands over the plate, gleefully.

Aoba takes it but holds it awkwardly, watching the tower of blue jiggle about whenever the plates moves. "Um...what exactly is this?"

"Blueberry jelly! I had to get it because it matches Aoba-san's hair!"

_'Okaaay...' _"Thanks, Clear. That's...nice of you."

"Aoba!" Koujaku shouts as he rushes in next, behaving anxiously with one hand on the sword and ready to use if need be. "Are you okay? I saw the gas mask guy jump in through the window and came in as fast as I could!"

Noiz turns his nose up at him. "I don't do foursomes."

"N-Noiz!" Aoba snaps, horrified. "I already said that we're not going to do anything so stop it already!"

"Foursome? What's that?" Clear pokes his head in to ask so innocently.

"I-It's nothing!..."_  
_

"Perverted brat." Koujaku sneers at the blonde, stepping closer with his sword at the ready. "Aoba has standards. Got that, punk?"

"Really? Why does he hang around with you then?" Noiz questions as he also steps closer with a fist ready to strike the older man whenever.

Clear goes in to a frenzy as he looks at them both, back and forth, unable to sense who's more dangerous. He looks to Aoba, who he assumes will try to intervene. "...A-Aoba-san?! W-What's the matter? You mustn't sleep on the floor like that or you'll get cramps!" He cries out to the figure sprawled out on the floor, who's in-between passing out and just giving up altogether.

All this just because of one small tweet about being hungry? No, just because he can't cook?!

Good grief, he was better off dealing with the kitchen fire and being scolded by his granny.

* * *

_**AN** I wasn't sure how to end this but I just wanted to before it got longer! I managed to shorten it from 5k to under 4,500k. Thank god I was able to finish it tonight, it's pretty late already._

_Even though I don't like jelly, I'm fascinated by the way it jiggles because it's like it's dancing! :D_

_The price of pizza here in the UK is pretty reasonable I guess. I don't like Pizza Hut so I go to Dominoes and basically where this a/n is going now is that I don't know the price of pizza in Germany or Japan so I can't convert anything, but I'm sure Noiz wouldn't care about the price if he likes it enough, even more so when he's not the one paying for it._

_Haha 'Aoba Serangaggy'. I knew that when I thought of it I just had to use it in one of my fics somewhere because holy wow__ he sure does nag a lot._


End file.
